That time I made my kid cry by telling him women are funny

And whatever lessons can be learned from the incident

Goooooooooood morning, afternoon, or evening, wherever you might happen to be!

Firstly, a warm welcome to new subscribers! To those of you who don’t know me, I’m an L.A. native now living in Switzerland, and I created Page by Page to support readers trying to build a life and career out of their research and/or writing. I’m really glad to have you here!

This week, it’s Story Time. I want to tell you a very short story about a minor Parenting Fail that makes me want to laugh and facepalm every time I remember it.

If you’re a longtime Page by Page subscriber, you probably know me in one of three roles: as an academic (#MedievalistsRule), as a career and writing consultant, or as a comedy writer.

Now, these are rather different things, though—in my case, at least—they aren’t completely separate from one another. But I’ve only been a published comedy writer since the autumn of 2021, when I managed to get one piece into 251 (which might not exist anymore?) and the other into McSweeney’s (which was exciting both because it was a huge coup and because I got to tell people I’m sometimes ‘funny for money’¹).

What does all this have to do with my Parenting Fail? Well, I’ll tell you.

It was pretty early on in my comedy writing career (if you can call it that), and I was walking around town with my 5-year-old son. I don’t remember what errand we were running, but I remember very clearly exactly where we were when my son made the observation that ‘boys are funnier than girls’.

I was taken aback. I took umbrage. You might even say I was ‘shook’. And, unfortunately, I switched into Academic Mode.

I proceeded to deliver a passionate lecture on the history of misogyny and anti-feminist stereotypes, two things I know about (a) from personal experience (fun!) and (b) because I literally wrote a book about them.

A minute later, I was kneeling on the ground, trying to comfort a little boy who kept sobbing, ‘I’m sorry, Mama! Women are funny, too!!’

Oops.

I’m sharing that story with you all partly because, every time I remember it, it makes me laugh (and apologise to my son). Boy did I misjudge my response. I mean, if you’re trying to persuade someone that you’re funny, eliciting tears is probably the clearest sign that you’ve failed.

But I’m also sharing that story with you because I think it’s easy to get so focused on how other people are labeling you that you forget to do your thing. You forget to just be funny and you over-concentrate on being called funny. Which can make you do silly things like start lecturing a 5-year-old child (though it’s never too early to start learning about the patriarchy).

I wish I could tell you I don’t care what other people think of me and my comedy writing, but when people laugh at my jokes or reply ‘HA’ to one of my Substack Notes, I’m absolutely thrilled (though nothing beats the time a friend introduced me to his daughter as ‘a humorist’ [thanks, Jamie!]). I love making people laugh! It’s something I want to do a lot, and a skill I want to keep developing. And if I want to do those things, I need to focus more on what I’m doing and less on however people might be labeling me.

Of course, if you insist on labeling me ‘a comedy maven’, I’m not gonna stop you.

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VB,

M

1. Not very much money. Calm down, guys.