Laughing out loud as someone working in Cam now, who faced nine months of darkness (both literal and metaphorical) doing MA at UChicago, an experience almost costed me my career. Wouldn’t be where I am had I not had this similar realization during a gap year afterwards and went to a much, much lighter place in Seattle, where I learned scholarship could be (and should be) built on generosity, kindness, humor, and support. I am trying my best to shed that light on my students now, remembering the darkness still quite vividly and knowing that they may well be plunging into that corridor.
I can’t even tell you how happy this post makes me, though you also have all my sympathy and solidarity as a former fellow traveller-in-the-dark! It is so wonderful that you’re doing everything you can to make sure your students don’t have to go through that same experience. I remain grateful to my own students for sometimes reminding me where their own dark spots are (it can be hard to remember if you’ve been out of them for awhile!).
This message echoes my own frustrations through my program at TTU. For 4 years of PhD work I’ve been absolutely miserable doing everything alone: too little guidance, too little support, too little “light.”
I love that I stumbled upon this resource because I FINALLY feel I have a collegial community. As I’m bumbling through writing my dissertation (Middle English poetry & medicine), now at last someone is out there encouraging me, boosting me up, and sharing sage advice (I just finished writing thesis statements for each section & I finally feel like scholar who knows what she’s doing!).
I have done my best to be a squeaky wheel; I initiated a Med-Ren Student study group (I diligently showed every week, sent out emails, polled the “group” for meeting-time preferences, brought snacks, and still I sat alone for 2 hours every week.), I joined the Graduate Center writing groups, I asked my supervisor, the Graduate counselor for the department, and even the department chair for resource, support, and structure, but I never received more than a sympathetic noise and advice that amounted to “find it yourself.”
So I am glad I found you, doc. I’ve followed you on the former Bird App for years, loved the scenery of your photos, and your glimpses of the materials you work with.
Now I know I have you in my pocket. I know that once I have written something I have someone other than my supervisor to read it. And maybe I also have a new friend to drop medieval jobs my way when I move to the job hunting stage.
Thank you so much for doing this. I hope it’s a roaring success for you & thank you for sharing this story about turning on a light rather than cursing the damn darkness.
Oh wow, Jen—this is such a kind, encouraging note! Thank you!!
And I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling such a lack of support. I think I may have mentioned in my very first PBP post that I felt like my PhD was very much a ‘DIY’ experience. I had a wonderful supervisor (or two, given that I started with one and shifted to another!), but institutionally, there just wasn’t anywhere to turn for general advice or support. I and my cohort ended up leaning on one another, which led to some wonderful friendships, but also meant we were very much feeling our way through the whole process. That kind of thing is *exhausting*, and can be really disheartening—I remember constantly thinking, ‘Am I doing this right? Is this how it’s supposed to be?’
I’m really looking forward to reading your work, and hope that PBP will continue to be a helpful resource for you! Bon courage!
What a lovely reminder and something I often forget: seek ease in your path! I feel you on the lack of focus and then the narrowing in during graduate school (I started my MA thinking I would study critical pedagogy and ended my PhD focusing on feminist and queer historiography and a study of periodicals). Thank you for this letter!
What a good story, Mary, of early assumptions and humble beginnings. It also makes me think again about advice I received as an undergraduate about doing an M Phil at Oxford or Cambridge; I wish *had* done so, but had no clue about how to go about it paying for it, for instance). Thanks for your encouragement to all about not having to go it alone, even into the dark stacks!
Laughing out loud as someone working in Cam now, who faced nine months of darkness (both literal and metaphorical) doing MA at UChicago, an experience almost costed me my career. Wouldn’t be where I am had I not had this similar realization during a gap year afterwards and went to a much, much lighter place in Seattle, where I learned scholarship could be (and should be) built on generosity, kindness, humor, and support. I am trying my best to shed that light on my students now, remembering the darkness still quite vividly and knowing that they may well be plunging into that corridor.
I can’t even tell you how happy this post makes me, though you also have all my sympathy and solidarity as a former fellow traveller-in-the-dark! It is so wonderful that you’re doing everything you can to make sure your students don’t have to go through that same experience. I remain grateful to my own students for sometimes reminding me where their own dark spots are (it can be hard to remember if you’ve been out of them for awhile!).
This message echoes my own frustrations through my program at TTU. For 4 years of PhD work I’ve been absolutely miserable doing everything alone: too little guidance, too little support, too little “light.”
I love that I stumbled upon this resource because I FINALLY feel I have a collegial community. As I’m bumbling through writing my dissertation (Middle English poetry & medicine), now at last someone is out there encouraging me, boosting me up, and sharing sage advice (I just finished writing thesis statements for each section & I finally feel like scholar who knows what she’s doing!).
I have done my best to be a squeaky wheel; I initiated a Med-Ren Student study group (I diligently showed every week, sent out emails, polled the “group” for meeting-time preferences, brought snacks, and still I sat alone for 2 hours every week.), I joined the Graduate Center writing groups, I asked my supervisor, the Graduate counselor for the department, and even the department chair for resource, support, and structure, but I never received more than a sympathetic noise and advice that amounted to “find it yourself.”
So I am glad I found you, doc. I’ve followed you on the former Bird App for years, loved the scenery of your photos, and your glimpses of the materials you work with.
Now I know I have you in my pocket. I know that once I have written something I have someone other than my supervisor to read it. And maybe I also have a new friend to drop medieval jobs my way when I move to the job hunting stage.
Thank you so much for doing this. I hope it’s a roaring success for you & thank you for sharing this story about turning on a light rather than cursing the damn darkness.
Oh wow, Jen—this is such a kind, encouraging note! Thank you!!
And I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling such a lack of support. I think I may have mentioned in my very first PBP post that I felt like my PhD was very much a ‘DIY’ experience. I had a wonderful supervisor (or two, given that I started with one and shifted to another!), but institutionally, there just wasn’t anywhere to turn for general advice or support. I and my cohort ended up leaning on one another, which led to some wonderful friendships, but also meant we were very much feeling our way through the whole process. That kind of thing is *exhausting*, and can be really disheartening—I remember constantly thinking, ‘Am I doing this right? Is this how it’s supposed to be?’
I’m really looking forward to reading your work, and hope that PBP will continue to be a helpful resource for you! Bon courage!
What a lovely reminder and something I often forget: seek ease in your path! I feel you on the lack of focus and then the narrowing in during graduate school (I started my MA thinking I would study critical pedagogy and ended my PhD focusing on feminist and queer historiography and a study of periodicals). Thank you for this letter!
Thank you so much for these kind words! ‘Seek ease in your path’—what a beautiful way to put it.
What a good story, Mary, of early assumptions and humble beginnings. It also makes me think again about advice I received as an undergraduate about doing an M Phil at Oxford or Cambridge; I wish *had* done so, but had no clue about how to go about it paying for it, for instance). Thanks for your encouragement to all about not having to go it alone, even into the dark stacks!
Thanks, Tom! And I have similar regrets about funding advice (that I didn’t take) at that stage of my studies—oof!